Narrative Poem: Just try and cancel your Washington Post subscription!

 

 

just try and cancel your

washington post subscription.

go on, I dare you.

I've tried. for two months.

and failed.

it makes a man whimper.

he feels lower than the dead sea.

Things started out happy 

between us.

But then I needed that ten

bucks a month to keep me

in bagels and cream cheese

when prices went up.

so I tried to call and email.

Bupkis.

so I went to my account settings today;

then to help;

then to frequently asked questions;

then help center;

then subscriptions;

then to cancel a digital subscription only;

then to chat.

the box said I am talking to 

Loreve.

she wrote 'please give me

a moment while I look up

your account.'

then she wrote (I'm assuming

Loreve is female, but who knows?)

"please send me your credit card transaction

code.'

so I did.

she found my account under an

old email address.

Huh.

so I'm paid up through June 6th.

and Loreve canceled it after that.

Huh.

guess I got nuthin' to complain

about after all.

dammit. that shoots this poem

all to hell . . .