California Beaches for All -- Burn That Coal! -- Our Cashless Society -- Screams for Ellen DeGeneres

The California Coastal Act proclaimed in 1976 that the beach is for everyone — not just for those fortunate enough to own an oceanfront home. The state over the years has chipped away at locked gates, private roads and neighborhoods that try to keep out the public. What’s left are access battles against those with the means to fight back in court in perpetuity.

by Rosanna Xia for the LATimes 

A beach is a place full of sand,

where sunshine and water do stand;

they start out pristine

but public routine

soon turns them into an oil gland.

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In a statement, the E.P.A. said the cost of cutting mercury from power plants “dwarfs” the monetary benefits and argued that the current limits can no longer be justified as “appropriate and necessary” under the law.

by Lisa Friedman for the NYT

The EPA has got new bosses;

in midstream they're changing hosses.

Now the agency contends

dirty means support the ends.

Soon we'll be just like Mumbai

and cough our dreary lives away.

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Although U.S. bills feature the words, “This note is legal tender for all debts, public and private,” there’s no federal law that says businesses have to accept cash, according to the Federal Reserve’s website.

By Katie Bindley for the WSJ

Paper money's so passe I cannot stand the thought

of using it for anything that I have ever bought.

Full of germs and other filth, a greenback is a tomb

of probable infection that will lead me to my doom.

Give me plastic or smartphone -- anything that's clean.

No coin was ever minted that could maintain good hygiene.

If I should find a treasure trove of pirate gold someday,

I'd leave it in the ground untouched and primly walk away.

(And that is why they put in a padded cell to stay . . . )

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But there’s one particularly distracting audience response that I’ve noticed in watching DeGeneres and comics of her caliber perform: the random, wild screaming.
by Elahe Izadi for the Washington Post.

I don't care what comics might dream;
I never will give them a scream.
A chuckle or two
is what they are due;
I save my shrieks for scalding steam.