But it has not been clear exactly why fare evasion is up. New Yorkers, it turns out, have many reasons for not paying. by Emma G. Fitzsimmons for the NYT.
No subway fare in New York Towne;
when tolls go up the folks sneak down.
Their reasons for evasion might
be so legit or really bite.
Whatever causes them to shirk,
it gives 'em all that New York smirk.
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A man who police said shot himself in the ankle while playing with a handgun in a car on a freeway in Los Angeles County was taken to a hospital early Monday, authorities said.
by Hannah Fry for the LATimes
The dumbest people always thrive
when on the freeway they do drive.
They play with guns; they have to text --
ye gods, you morons, what is next?
A headstand or a tooth extraction --
if you've a brain, tis but a fraction.
That's why I always take the bus;
I'm bigger than some addled cuss!
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This is the last Christmas at Sears for thousands of workers across the country after Sears Holdings Corp.filed for bankruptcy protection in
October . . .
by Chip Cutter for the WSJ
Dear Santa: With some great big tears
I'm asking you to bring back Sears.
They were my holiday delight;
Their catalog made Christmas bright.
Oh do not let the scroogey banks
thin out some more the lovely ranks
of places that gave me a thrill
before I ever took Advil.
Kris Kringle, if you've magic yet --
please help those elves get out of debt!
And let the festive shops that bore
such marvels as the stout Kenmore
reopen with their employees
so none will suffer cashless freeze!
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As blue chips sank even deeper into the red after weeks of chaos, Trump tried to assign sole blame for the sell-off to the Federal Reserve, likening the central bank to a golfer who “can’t putt.”
by Thomas Heath & Philip Rucker for the Washington Post
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the Fed
those grinches were plotting to strike money dead.
They'd raise up the rates for all int'rest until
the banks couldn't lend to the poor and the ill.
They snickered and gloated, and had no remorse
that soon they could shut down most ev'ry golf course.
Instead of full stockings and presents galore,
Americans would find themselves next day real poor.
As they shut the bank vaults and ignored our great plight,
they yelled: "Merry Christmas, and go fly a kite!"
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