this year's show features many fascinating breeds:
bag ladies come in several categories --
mumbling
crying
staggering
wooden
homeless vets are a popular breed with the media.
but they are not as gregarious as
strung out addicts.
teenage runaways must answer to their handler's voice
on the first command
or be disqualified
from further competition.
for the first time this year the Westminster Homeless Show
admitted breeds living in their cars.
but only if they don't have any shower facilities nearby.
all homeless males without scraggly beards have been ruled ineligible for entry this year.
Herding shopping carts will again be the main event on both days.
a new category this year is homeless children.
as long as they're housebroken.
the entry fee has gone up this year:
a whole bag of prunes from any local food shelf.
welfare agencies are reminded to keep their homeless people
on leashes for the duration of the exhibition.
this year's grand prize winner will receive a lifetime supply
of flea powder.
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