From The Atlantic.
It came upon a midnight clear, while scientists were snoring --
A burst of sentient radio waves in wondrous outpouring.
From Sagittarius it sped into the Chinese basin --
Which sent eavesdropping analysts off to Beijing a-racin’.
Twas proven now beyond a doubt that life beyond the stars
Was ready for FIrst Contact and perhaps some seminars.
The world recoiled in disbelief at China’s great disclosure --
It caused our Chief Executive to lose his cool composure.
The evidence was solid and the proof was so conclusive
That it could not be doubted -- though some Baptists stayed abusive.
To formulate a fit response a group of scholars wary
Concocted just one question for the radio beams to carry.
“How can we have peace on Earth, with mercy mild today?”
Was the query that they sent on its interstellar way.
They had to wait full many years before there was reply
From the cryptic mirrored stars that shone up in the sky.
But at last that basin great in China caught the news
And throughout the gaping world the message did diffuse:
“Earthlings, peace is only had when in your wildest dream --
Unless, of course, you rub your skin with Booferbumber’s cream!”
“So smooth and so refreshing, it will give you mercy mild;
It’s approved for man and beast, for blergs and for young child!
And then you’ll also want to drink organic Klinkerflog!
It will keep your nerblocks green, as green as any frog.”
“And don’t forget to herm your scrot with Diblox Lorfing Moof.
It now comes in a neutron thread while staying waterproof!
This cosmogonal message has been brought to you for free
By the advertisers in the Fornax Galaxy.”
“If you want to speak with our great scientists and sages,
It will cost you plenty in rare stones and gold and wages.
As their sponsors we control the flow of knowledge, so
Prepare to meet your masters and send rocketships of dough!”
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