Serial Killer Undone by Asking McDonald’s Co-Worker to Mind His Gun, Police Say
When ordering up a Big Mac
Make sure you ain’t under attack
By serial killers
As order fillers
Who supersize you with a whack.
Apple wants to know your heart rate. For science.
For scientific purposes your heart rate is desired
By Apple and by Google and by Facebook -- so you’re wired.
They’d like to know your weight and height, and all about your dreams.
Then you will join their army of consumer zombie memes.
More than half of American children set to be obese by age 35, study finds
American children are apt
In blubber to be slowly wrapped.
This breed of tweeters
Are not picky eaters;
With taste buds they’re not handicapped.
Couple accused of putting infant son in microwave
If your babies misbehave/put them in the microwave/if their attitude don’t change/cook ‘em on a stove top range.
Autism, sleep apnea added to Minnesota list for medical marijuana
A stoner from Sleepy Eye said
“Man, when I sleep I feel dead;
I don’t even snore --
I guess I should score
Some weed and a softer bedspread.
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