Prospects were darkening; money was tight/
So economists met to consult, and to fight/
They came from all corners, and tried hard to dodge/
Staying the night at the Econo-Lodge/
There was Poofle from Harvard, and Schmidlap from Yale/
Kronforst from Stanford, and Cindy from Vail/
Bingle flew in with his entourage gray/
Hornpiper snuck in from the CIA/
The conf’rence was held in a hall just so large/
There was room for a choir, petting zoo, and a barge/
Obama did open the meeting with poise/
The economists managed to yawn without noise/
He pled with them gravely to think of a ruse/
To stop the economy singing the blues/
They listened politely, then shooed him outside/
And, my, how the ideas began to collide!/
Bingle reported that Europe was hurt/
Greenland was sinking and Greece was inert/
The time had arrived to buy euros en masse/
To perk up the dollar, help our working class/
Schmidlap retorted that he’d never heard/
Anything like it, ‘twas mighty absurd/
Oil was the problem, he haughtily stated/
Leaving the country too much constipated/
But Poofle leaped up like a Jack in the Box/
Knocked over the buffet of bagel and lox/
Screamed at the top of his lungs for an order/
To send all the Latvians back ‘cross the border/
At this all the delegates threw down their pens/
Pulled out their Blackberries, cackled like hens/
Kronforst demanded the floor right away/
Cindy requested some more Perrier/
Poofle resumed his insanic tirade/
Schmidlap was fuming, but Bingle was staid/
Hornpiper finally got their attention/
By sending mad Poofle into Fed detention/
Consensus was reached, after heartburn and pouting/
And this is the program that they began touting/
“In order to satisfy credit demands/
Print all of our dollars on thick rubber bands/
Restoring the trust of the public will take/
Banks serving ice cream with plenty of cake/
Brokers must take pogo sticks to their work/
Commodity traders renamed Captain Kirk/
Taxes must strip ev’ry household of bread/
And coins must be made out of nothing but lead/
When these conditions are met, we predict/
The recession which haunts us will really be licked”/
ALAS for our country, by the time this was printed/
The Latvians into all power had sprinted/
They merged us with Mexico, Canada too/
And moved the White House off to Kalamazoo/
Economics was banned as a subject of study/
And branded a tale by some old fuddy-duddy/
Now the jobless are working, the homeless are housed/
And headcheese is finally, properly soused!
Elections take place ev’ry one hundred years/
And you buy your votes down at Roebuck and Sears!
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