Laura Reiley. Washington Post.
Laura Reiley worked hard to get where she is today.
She has a combination of moxie, chutzpah, malarkey,
and ranasmurfin..
She has won so many awards that they are housed inside
Yucca Mountain in Nevada, where they glow eerily at night.
She graduated from the University of Virgina, where she
learned how to turn anchovy butter into a Bachelor's Degree.
She can cook anything that voted for Trump -- as long as she
has enough lard.
She has combined her love of horses with her love of
Indian cuisine to invent the curry comb.
AMERICAN RESTAURANTS ARE CLIMBING ON THE PLANT-BASED MEAT BAND WAGON -- ALL EXCEPT MCDONALD'S. @lreiley
Us carnivores must take a stand.
McDonald's is our leader grand.
Steaks and chops and ribs, egad!
We want them red with blood, not plaid
with fibers from a milkweed plant
or tofu, crickets, and the ant.
The Golden Arches stands for flesh
deep fried into a greasy mesh.
Hold your ground, McDonald's, please!
We want no burgers made from peas.
A single leaf of lettuce suits
our lust for veggies and for fruits
If you should bow to plant-based meats
I'll thump myself to death with beets!
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