Verses from stories by Nicholas Fandos, Kayla Epstein, Kim Bellware, and Jada Yuan.

Nicholas Fandos. NYT

MCCONNELL/PELOSI FEUD DEEPENS

@npfandos

Like cats and dogs, these two contend

and so much energy expend

that Congress functions even less

and finds time only to digress.

If we can't send them to their rooms,

we ought to swat them with some brooms.

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LATEST TEXT MESSAGE HOAX: "YOU'VE
BEEN DRAFTED -- REPORT IMMEDIATELY!"
@bellwak  @KaylaEpstein

Although I'm over sixty-five I'm drafted, so it seems;
and soon I will be fighting 'gainst those Arabic regimes.
There's just one thing I'd like to know before I march away --
should I bring my wheelchair for the imminent D-Day?

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DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATE'S SPOUSES
GET USED TO THE SPOTLIGHT.
@jadabird

I never ran for president;
I guess I never will.
My wife left me so long ago,
but I still feel the chill.
You cannot be the president
without you have a spouse;
there is no room for bachelors
up there at the White House.
So I just sit and watch the news,
and do not give a hoot.
Unlike my ex, when things get loud
I now can hit the mute . . .