While intensive examinations of large multinational companies are common, the I.R.S. rarely conducts detailed audits of private equity firms, according to current and former agency officials.
(NYT)
So I dropped a dollar bill on the sidewalk/and this guy pounces on it like a cheetah/I said "Hey that's mine!"/He gave me a serene smile before answering/"Mister, this is your lucky day/I'm gonna use your dollar/for a private equity deal/that will knock your socks off/"I don't want my socks knocked off" I told him severely/"I just want my friggin dollar back!"/He paid no attention to my outrage/Instead he gathered a large crowd around him/and began tearing bits off my dollar/and handing them out/to complete strangers/telling them "Give me all your spare change for this bit of bona fide/U.S. currency/and I'll guarantee twenty percent profit within two weeks"/People were slow to respond at first/but then he added/"And folks, you'll never pay any taxes on the money you make with this deal"/That did the trick/The crowd almost smothered him/giving him quarters and dimes and five dollar bills/even credit cards/He pocketed it all/looking as smug/as a Republican denying the vote to a new minority/When the crowd was gone he told me/"Meet me back at this exact same spot in one week and we'll divvy up the loot"/Then he disappeared in a cloud of brimstone/I was skeptical/but I came back in a week/and by golly/he was right there/with a satchel full of hundred dollar bills/which he handed to me with a wink/then mounted his Tengu/to fly off into the marmalade sunset.
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