After the war/there was no one left/I signed the peace treaty/all by myself/then marched away/to start/a strange new world/Homo sapiens/were obviously out of the running/So I started with rabbits/Very efficient breeders/Too efficient/as it turned out/They soon went to war/with each other/over Lebensraum/hiring weasel mercenaries/to do the dirty work/So I tried tortoises/slow and steady/never lose their tempers/and very hesitant breeders/They liked to eat/only prickly pear cactus/and tried to turn the entire planet/into a desert/the perfect environment/for prickly pear/I turned from them to iguanas/After all, look at Godzilla/an iguana who made good in Tokyo/They sat on rocks/and sunned themselves/Never argued or pushed an agenda/Of course, their tendency to blow sea water out of their nostrils/was disconcerting/but I figured/Hey, if that's the worst thing/about them/they can become the dominant species/no problem/But then the space aliens/landed/and were in cahoots/with the weasels/and everything/went to hell/in a hand basket/The upshot/is that planet Earth/is now nothing/but a parking lot/for spaceships/managed by/Cleverciti Systems/out of Beta Centauri/And me?/I run a gazpacho stand next to the veeblefetzer works/It's a living.
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