It all started as I turned the corner
going home from Fresh Market.
It's a blind corner, and a girl on a bike
nearly crashed into me as I came up
to the corner.
It was a close shave.
That got me to thinking about how
dangerous that blind corner is.
They should put up one of those convex
mirrors or something, so people can see
if some mad bicyclist is careening towards
them.
But I don't know who to talk to about that,
and I doubt the city would do anything about
it anyway.
So now when I go to Fresh Market I walk way
out in the parking lane when I take that turn, giving
the dangerous blind corner a wide berth.
Of course I'm blocking traffic, and I get some
dirty looks, but my life is worth more than some
moron's middle finger.
And now I take many more precautions
as well.
Because all movement and thought
invites danger and discomfort.
So, even though I don't believe in it myself,
I wear an aluminum foil hat --
even to bed.
Laughable, yes. Ridiculous, certainly.
But . . .
where there's smoke there's fire.
And I no longer use my computer
keyboard, or my computer for that matter.
All that electricity coursing through circuits
and microchips -- don't tell me there isn't
a chance of getting electrocuted.
No -- paper and pencil are good enough for me.
I gave away my big screen TV.
You could feel the heat radiating from it
when you got close to it -- that can't be good.
I sit in a wooden chair.
I drink vinegar constantly.
I bathe in distilled water.
I've stopped going out.
My door is locked
and I sleep on the floor,
on a pile of old newspapers --
their wonderful old-fashioned
printed words are a wall
around me.
I feel completely safe.
Inertia is beautiful.
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