Utah Headlines & Rhymes. Tuesday. June 6. 2017.

WITH STRICT NEW DUI LAWS, UTAH BAR OWNERS SAY IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO GET PATRONS DRUNK ANYMORE

In Utah a driver who drinks

Is jailed if he so much as winks.

But out in the sage

If you show road rage

The cops are as mum as the Sphinx.

SALT LAKE COUNTRY RECORDER GARY OTT NO LONGER COMES IN TO WORK, AND STILL DRAWS A FULL SALARY AND BENEFITS. WHEN ASKED TO RESIGN, HE REPLIED "HELL NO!"

There was an old man, name of Ott

Who worked for the county -- or not.

The older he grew

The less that he knew --

They pay him to be a mascot.

MOTHER SETS UP DENTIST OFFICE IN SALT LAKE WALMART BATHROOM -- WHERE SHE OPERATES ON 7 YEAR OLD SON

The tooth fairy is in cahoots

With patrons at Walmart -- the brutes.

So buyer beware,

Or you’ll get the chair --

And have a tooth out by the roots!

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Editor's Note:
The above limerick about Gary Ott was denied a posting under 'commentaries' in the Deseret News this morning. An email from their editors gave the following reason:

Dear Tim Torkildson,

Thank you for commenting on The trouble with Gary Ott on DeseretNews.com.

Unfortunately, your comment was not approved for the following reason:

   * Comment included insensitive thoughts that were not appropriate in the context of the story.

From our comment policy:

Be sensitive in comments about death and injury, especially in stories that involve children.

We invite you to edit and resubmit your comment using the following guidelines:

   * Comments should be thoughtful and helpful to your fellow readers with additional insight or counterpoints to the article.
   * Avoid personal attacks and other inappropriate responses to fellow readers.
   * Treat other readers as you would if you were speaking to them from a microphone, looking them in the eyes, then passing the microphone cordially to the next contributor.

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DO THE GHOSTS OF ANCIENT MILLIONAIRES STILL HAUNT THE DESOLATE BEACHES OF CUMBERLAND ISLAND OFF THE SHORE OF GEORGIA?

On Cumberland Island the rich once resided --

But now it is open to tourists, provided

They pay through the nose for the sand and the sea

And maybe the ghost of a lost Carnegie.

The rich don’t buy islands today, for reflection

Shows them it’s cheaper to buy an election.