Tuesday, June 16, 2020

Timericks from stories by Jason Gay, Sha Hua, and Dustin Volz


Tim Torkildson, inventor of the timerick and of the chocolate covered pickle.



If There’s No Baseball, Will You Miss It?
@jasongay

If baseball's gone, sure I will miss it/I promise I will never diss it/if they ever bring it back/No umpire I'll call a hack/Those hotdogs at the ballpark are/not rancid, but a superstar!/What gods there be that stage such things/know baseball is the Sport of Kings!


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Beware of Falling Tofu: China Takes on High-Altitude Littering.
@shashamimi

Lookout below! the tenant cries/as he throws garbage from the skies/Twenty stories overhead/he tosses out potato shred/and doesn't give a flying fig/that he is such a lofty pig/But down below the refuse hits/until Beijing is sure the pits/Perhaps if tenants were thrown out/instead they'd turn a bit devout.



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CIA’s ‘Lax’ Security Led to Massive Theft of Hacking Tools, Internal Report Finds
@dnvolz

The CIA is now so lax/they welcome internet attacks/So busy as a cyber bully/they are not protected fully/The Russians and the Chinese smirk/cuz looting us is easy work.

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