O if I could live upon a boat
and on the water gently float,
I'd be as happy as a clam
in Angkor Wat or Amsterdam.
The vapors blowing on my face
would all my cares quite soon erase.
With kelp and duckweed I'd consort,
and seining eels would be good sport.
Yes, I would wear a skipper's cap,
while studying an ocean map.
No mortgage would I pay the bank;
I'd force those guys to walk the plank!
My crew would be a salty bunch,
who never heard of soap or brunch.
They'd swab the deck and hoist a mizzin,
and to me they would have to listen.
I'd fish all day and dance with squid,
and know just what was meant by 'fid.'
Environmentally, you know,
I'd strike a green-flecked counter-blow!
A boat, a ship, a barge, a raft --
if I could have just any craft
that kept me off of terra firma
there'd be a glow upon my derma.
And like Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
I'd feel that I was suzerain!
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