My New Years' resolution is to eat more garlic bread.
To wallow in anchovies and kick Banksy in the head.
I have resolved to sleep in until it is time for brunch,
and let my hair grow out until I need to use a scrunch.
I'm gonna climb Mount Everest without a Sherpa guide
and light a candle for Will Hay to make him sanctified.
I'm moving to Hawaii near a lava lake as well
so when the neighbors visit I can throw them right in . . .
Tell me something, reader; don't you ever wish that you
had New Years' resolutions on which you could follow through?
Like growing lots of skin tags, gaining weight, or no more socks.
Sitting in a beanbag chair dismantling cheap clocks?
If I must really tell the truth, the only thing that I
am bound to do this New Year is to soon emulsify.
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