Hawaii Missile Alert Was Sent

in Error, Triggering Panic

Hawaii ain’t the place to be/at this point in history/fried into atomic soot/
who now cares about breadfruit?

The dollar’s at an all-time low

Nobody wants it in escrow.

The nations of the world refuse

To use greenbacks to pay their dues.

They’d rather have a yen to spend;

So has the dollar reached the end?

No! By gad, it’s still the core

Of ev’ry blooming Dollar Store!

In Maine a shed for smoking fish

To Canada went with a swish

After winter storms, I fear,

Blew it off its ancient pier.

Now the state is up in arms

And is not using many charms

To make Canadians return

The shed, with tidings very stern.

But Canada says ‘finders keepers’

So there might be war -- oh jeepers!

Cuz Trump such tactics must resist

And put our neighbor on Black List.

He’ll build a wall or send a shot

Across the border, like as not.

Then send in the Marines to snatch

The shed to bring back with dispatch.

Another conflict will begin,

As outmoded as Rin Tin Tin.

And all because a rotten shed

From our shores was blindly led.