Willow bark and tea tree oil, sassafras and clay --
Mountebanks in lab coats cook up new scams ev’ry day.
Medical technicians are too slow upon the draw --
Testing and confirming for results is such a flaw.
Anecdotal evidence, or even outright lies,
Is pushing unproved remedies right up into the skies.
The internet abetting, all those wealthy movie stars
Are claiming marvels stemming from their pricey carob bars.
Of course with health insurance priced beyond the reach of most,
It isn’t any wonder that sick people tend to coast
To nostrums that will cure their ills without a bankruptcy --
And that is why the witch doctors can make so much money.
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