Mike Hughes, a California man who is
most known for his belief that the Earth
is shaped like a Frisbee, finally blasted
off into the sky in a steam-powered rocket
he had built himself.
On a weekend mild and sunny in the Golden State
Mike Hughes took off by steam rocket to meet his cosmic fate.
Some say he crashed his missile deep in dry Mojave sand --
But others say he left Earth’s orbit as he had always planned.
Once above the atmosphere he saw the Earth reclining;
Flatter than a discus, with the sun above it shining.
Jubilant to be proved right, he angled for the Moon
And saw that it was all green cheese -- which almost made him swoon.
Next he zoomed away for Mars, where ditches full of dust
Led to ancient cities that were crumbling into rust.
The ancient residents were gone and all they left behind
Were stacks of books by H.G. Wells -- and none of them were signed.
He hopped upon a comet to find out what made it tick;
But found Louise Hay Linton there upon her own broomstick.
So he took off just like a shot to check out Saturn’s rings
And found they were the dandruff from celestial angel’s wings.
Longing for his homeworld, he turned back towards Mother Earth,
Wondering if Fox Network would now pay him what he’s worth.
But a ghostly presence caused his rocket ship to fail --
The shade of Chris Columbus rose before him, dim and pale.
“You think you gonna spoil my reputation?” Chris did ask.
“And all my clever scheming you will suddenly unmask?”
He sent Mike’s rocket crashing into Putin’s patio;
And what became of Mr. Hughes is something we don’t know . . .
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