Prose Poem: Three Wishes.

 

The genie said he would grant me three wishes.

He came out of a Jufran banana ketchup bottle

that I found washed up on the beach.

My first wish was for the color pink

to vanish from the earth and never return.

"That is an odd wish, master" the genie

said to me, his eyes sparkling like bottle caps.

"My ex-wife never liked the color pink" I told him.

"Why don't you wish to have her back, if 

you still have feelings for her?" he asked me.

"Nah" I said. "Her family wants to improve me."

"What is your second wish, oh master?"

the genie asked me. His breath smelled of 

salt water taffy.

"I wish" I said "that all pretzels tasted as good

as they look."

"Indeed?" said the genie, lifting one eyebrow

until it knocked his turban off.

"That is a highly subjective subject --

I am not sure it can be done to your satisfaction."

"Oh, well . . ."  I told him, "if you haven't got

the mojo for it just gimme a million in cash, then."

This enraged the genie, as I knew it would.

He wiggled his ears in a rage, until they

began to hum. 

Just go try a pretzel, any pretzel, now --

see how great they taste.

For my third and final wish

I asked that a war be named after me.

"Master is pulling my leg, right?"

the genie said, rather desperately I thought.

"Nope" I told him. "They don't write many

books about do gooders --

the bestsellers are always about wars

and their starters;

So I want one named after me --

'Tim's War.'"

"As you wish, master" said the genie

with a sigh that was pure Brownian Motion.

After Tim's War was over

(both sides surrendered to each other

and the only casualty was

an overweight Air Force colonel

who had a stroke while running up

a flight of stairs)

I made a comfortable living 

being interviewed by historians

and the news media --

charging five- hundred dollars

for an hour of my time. 

For some reason the genie

from the Jufran bottle turned

into a large red pencil eraser

after granting my last wish.

I keep him in a pigeon hole

in my mahogany roll top desk.

I haven't heard him gibber

in months now.