Uncle Sam says Walmart stores
pushed opioids like cheap s'mores.
Walmart counters with the claim
that Uncle Sam should take the blame.
The only winners that I see
are lawyers with their big fat fee.
Amazon, upon the sly,
has a finger in each pie --
shoes and food and books and lamps;
giving rivals money cramps.
Bezos seems to want to try
to emulate the octopi.
I'm old and gray and full of smarts,
and like to lean on shopping carts.
So heed my counsel, boys and girls:
Depend on swine and not on pearls.
Wealth brings friends quick to renege;
but you can always kiss a pig.
(Dedicated to The Naked Cowboy of
New York City.)
Here's to buskers everywhere,
who, dressed in only underwear,
strum guitars or practice mime,
and rarely ever make a dime.
They are rich in chutzpah, chum --
thank heavens we can't see their bum!
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