Friday, October 29, 2021

Today's Timerick: Air Force is first to face troops’ rejection of vaccine mandate as thousands avoid shots

 (thanks to Alex Horton)



In the Air Force insurrection/comes with much vaccine rejection/Pilots and their ground crews spurn/orders, growing taciturn/Generals get apoplectic/Are their troops now all dyslectic?/When the rank and file reject/orders there is disrespect/What is worse, no jail can hold/all these mutineers so bold/A soldier who won't take a poke/is pretty much a useless joke/Send them back to basic training/until their minds of mush are draining!

Thursday, October 28, 2021

Haiku: 詩人は眠いです

 


I don't drink coffee --

puddled mornings with quicksand --

vitamin pills rock!

朝はコーヒーを飲まず、ビタミン剤だけ。


Follow the cursor --

it will lead you to nothing --

buy a fishing rod.

カーソルを何もしないか、釣り竿を購入します

All those happy clams --
rolling along the sea floor --
I've never seen them.
幸せなハマグリや不幸なハマグリを見たことがない

Wednesday, October 27, 2021

Today's Timerick: The Bill Collector

 (thanks to David Lazarus)



Bill collectors at your door/on your phone -- and what is more/down the chimney they will come/if you owe a thumping sum/You may shoot them or pretend/you are just the debtor's friend/O, these hounds of dark finance/can benumb you with a glance/If to debt you must succumb/go and be a coarse beach bum/Then let four years pass away/and come back to have your day/Creditors will have to eat/all your debt -- now ain't that sweet?

Haiku: 詩人はブドウを食べています

 


Sunlight through the blinds

on the faceless black keyboard

reminds me of prunes.

顔のない黒いキーボードのブラインドからの日光は、プルーンを思い出させます。

scrolling down the screen --
fingers jumping like kittens --
ginger tea all gone.
画面を散歩すると、子猫のように指がジャンプし、ジンジャーティーがなくなります。

Bug in the pen drawer --
musty tea bags in the sink --
another rewrite . . . 
ペンの引き出しのバグとシンクの古いティーバッグ-別の書き直し!

Tuesday, October 26, 2021

Haiku: 詩人は妻の顔を見つめます

 


Her face in profile --

a strand of languid white hair --

autumn in her eyes.

だらしない白い髪の毛と彼女の目に輝く秋の髪の輪郭の彼女の顔

The curve of her ear --
tinged with the red of long sleep --
drawn close to my lips.
私の唇が近づくと、彼女の耳はその上で寝ていると赤くなります。

A bump in her nose
and indecently warm lips --
her breath like warm milk.
彼女の鼻には隆起があり、唇は暖かすぎますが、息はミルクのようなにおいがします


TOday's Timerick: Inside Blue Origin: Employees say toxic, dysfunctional ‘bro culture’ led to mistrust, low morale and delays at Jeff Bezos’s space venture

 

(THanks to CHristian Davenport)

Culture in the corporation/leads to tears and much vexation/when the managers decide/certain people they will ride/or politeness is ignored/then resentment comes unmoored/Dabney Colman did find out/when he played that awful lout/in the movie "9 to 5"/that browbeaters don't survive/Bezos needs to mend his ways/or put his holdings out to graze. 

Monday, October 25, 2021

Today's Timerick: Rockets aren’t enough. Jeff Bezos and the growing commercial space industry now want to build space stations.

(Thanks to Christian Davenport.)



The magnates have decided that the heavens are the place/for stations that will make 'em richer than French bouillabaisse/A space station for Bezos, and a couple for Bill Gates/will naturally be charging stratospheric bizness rates/Any ship that docks in one of their posh ports of call/will find their crew and passengers escorted to the Mall/I suppose casinos and a cocktail lounge or two/will also be on offer for the passengers and crew/So many new space stations will be built these next few years/comets that are passing by will clip their frozen ears/And sneaky Martian conscripts that are trying to invade/will stop instead to purchase Warren Buffet's tapenade/NASA will be crowded out and astronauts downsized/as automation and AI become more standardized!

Sunday, October 24, 2021

Today's Timerick: Western monarch butterflies have been vanishing. This week, a sanctuary saw thousands return.

 (Thanks to Paulina Firozi.)


A world without a butterfly

would cause a mountain troll to cry.

Their parchment wings that skim the air;

their gorgeous beauty without blare --

such creatures are a great distinction,

which we are pushing to extinction.

Painted ladies or Essex skipper,

and Mourning cloak don't feel too chipper.

Perhaps the angels intervening

can stop this upset most demeaning.

They'll use their seraph wings to shelter

their flitting cousins from the welter

of black smokestacks, deforestation, 

and other dark abomination. 

O butterfly, don't be so passive;

gather strength and courage massive!

In unity you'll march and rise

to make "Planet of the Butterflies."





Saturday, October 23, 2021

Today's Timerick: The Supply Chain and Santa.

 (Thanks to Taylor Telford)


Santa held a meeting with his top elves just this week;

the forum was long-winded and chock-full of doublespeak.

Suppliers for his toy shop were unable to keep pace;

it looked like Santy would default and lose a lot of face.

Purple paint was lacking and green stickum was depleted;

and tragically all children's dreams of loot would be defeated!

The elfish boss told Santa Claus supply chains were all busted;

container ships were hollow and most warehouses quite rusted.

Unless the truckers hit the road and wholesale prices tumbled

peace on earth, goodwill to men would certainly be jumbled!

"I'll send my reindeer out right now" said Santa with a snort.

"They'll bring supplies from ev'ry depot, factory, and port!"

Presto chango! Santa's deer brought string and sealing wax,

clock springs, flywheels, oakum, and bright silver carpet tacks.

Nisse, pixies, brownies, and a host of elvish kin

went to work with horsehair, dowels, and hand-picked twaddled tin.

Soon the shelves were teeming with toy soldiers and the like;

dollies, baseballs, checker games for ev'ry little tyke . . . 

I wish my tattered quill could end this saga with a smile;

to say that good Saint Nicholas delivered with great style.

But after all the foofaraw, these hand-made artifacts

were refused by children like a box of stale borax.

Because the kiddies think of Santa as a mastodon --

they only want the newest apps that come from Amazon!


Friday, October 22, 2021

Today's Timericks: John Eastman. Apples. Sunflowers.


If perhaps you do not know/Twas John Eastman who did show/an election in dispute/could save Don Trump from disrepute/This lawyer's wild conjectures prove/depravity stays on the move!


Peeling apples I have found/leaves too much apple on the ground/Although my knife is sharp, my skill/at peeling fruit is pretty nil/When making apple pie, what's more/my filling's mostly apple core/To cause my feelings less distress/I guess I'll buy a cider press!


The sunflower doth nod its head/heavy with it's own seedbed/On this mellow autumn day/I'll sever it to then display/with the punkins and cornstalk/all along my cee - ment walk/I'll leave it there through winter nights/and forget the Xmas lights . . . 

Monday, October 18, 2021

The Further Haiku of Amy: 彼女の才能は幅広い

 


Adore Meekness, Faith,

Love, Joy, Peace, Long-suffering,

Gentleness, Goodness

**************

The soft autumn rain --

washing away the summer

and its weary dust

やわらかな秋の雨が疲れた夏のほこりを洗い流します
****************
Teachable, humble,
Against such there is no law
Sweet, clean, pure, holy
*****************
the sweetest parsnips
need frost to temper their core
to become wholesome
パースニップは、霜が降りないと甘くなりません。

You accept me in
You belong in me fully
as one, not two; one
パースニップは、霜が降りないと甘くなりません。
************************
In your love, no guile
In your smile, no cosmetics
In your face, no age
あなたの愛には罪がありません。あなたの笑顔には誇りがありません。そしてあなたの顔は月を恥じます

Amy's Haiku: 妻の詩に対する詩人の反応

 


Denying the now

builds up the monster within

showing as acne

****************

A leaf drops down once --

morning glories bloom often --

a kiss has no end


Bitter; unyielding

teach, love, forgive, acceptance

every thought to change

***************

The bitter radish

is subdued with soft butter 

but not extinguished


Our desires are weak

we are too easily pleased

with ourselves, not God

************

This pleasure garden

is so neglected and old --

moss grows on lichen


The beautiful moon

the animals see it too

paths grow together

***********

The moonlit alley

meets itself in the small park

where the moths alight

月明かりに照らされた路地は、灰色の蛾が集まる緑豊かな公園で出会う


Haiku: 一晩浸した豆

 


Beans soaked overnight --

stale bread steeped in milk and eggs --

We're out of sugar.

豆は一晩浸され、古いパンはミルクと卵に浸されました-私たちは砂糖が不足しています


The dripping faucet 

sounds louder to stingy ears

than the ocean's roar.

滴る蛇口は、海の轟音よりもけちな耳で大きく聞こえます

The shaving cream can

stains the top of the toilet

where it stands a rusty brown

シェービングクリームは、それが立っているトイレの上部を汚す可能性があります

Saturday, October 16, 2021

Haiku: このように行けば

 


If you go this way

the sign on the way proclaims

you will go this way.

あなたがこのように行くならば、壁のサインはあなたがこのように行くと宣言します

Through the window blinds --
sunlight and motes creep along --
searching for an eye
ガラス窓から日光とモートが忍び寄り、目を探します


Bright yellow mountains --
drifting down this small valley;
they block the river.
小さな谷を漂う黄山が川を塞いでいる

Friday, October 15, 2021

Haiku: これらの詩は私の新しい花嫁に捧げられています

 


I have found her now;

there is pie in the oven.

Our bed is half made.

私は彼女を見つけたので、私の新しい花嫁はパイを焼き、ベッドを整えずに残しました


This soft silver skin

with a patina of mist

is mild in my hands

彼女の柔らかい銀色の肌は私の手に曇って暖かい

We wash the dishes --
stack them neat in the drainer --
gaze out at the rain.
雨が降っている間に皿を洗って積み重ねる

Where have the bells gone --
that boomed a joyous echo
and gathered neighbors?

Today's Timericks: Banksy tried to destroy his art after it sold for $1.4 million. The shredded version just went for $25.4 million.

 


Does this mean that shredded wheat/or a slab of luncheon meat/now will sell for millions more/at the local grocery store?/Banksy, tell me man to man/could this be your master plan?


Britain’s queen expresses irritation at world leaders who won’t commit to climate summit.

Elizabeth is getting peeved/at leaders who remain deceived/and do not want to meet at all/and over climate change do stall/They'd better treat her with more dread/lest she commands "Off with their head!"


A record number of Americans are quitting their jobs. Here’s how they make money after they quit.

I quit my job again today/I need more time to think and play/My boss was rude and overbearing/not nurturing or very caring/No more Florsheims; I wear sandals/and like so many, I panhandles/9 to 5 is obsolete/I'd rather stay at home and tweet.

Thursday, October 14, 2021

Haiku: 詩人はテレビを消します

 


Dark action movies --

waves of noise and loud colors;

blood on my popcorn.

ダークアクション映画
ノイズの波と大きな色が私のポップコーンに血を残します

Drifting mountains land
on feet of clay and peat moss --
then scamper away.
漂う山々は猫のように足元に着地し、走り去ります

The crunch of lettuce
in the mouth of a
young girl
drips green down her chin.
少女の口の中のレタスの歯ごたえが彼女のあごに緑色に滴り落ちる

Monday, October 11, 2021

The story of a lie.

 


When you tell yourself a lie or let others sell you a lie about yourself, the results are inevitably sad and damaging.

A lie is something that won't let you love yourself or trust yourself enough to let go of the false to embrace the truth.

The Savior saw much of this during his ministry, and in his dealings with the prophets past and present.

I am fortunate to have recently been reunited with a woman who knows the power of lies in her own personal life, has fought them, and has come out on top of them, banishing them to permanent non-existence.

With her blessed help I am overcoming the lies in my life.

In my life I have struggled with many lies, which have led to devastatingly poor choices.

Such as alcoholism.

The lie, for me, began with seeing alcohol as a magical elixir -- something that could make Dumbo fly and reunite him with his mother and make him a circus celebrity.

John Wayne could down a bottle of whisky, win a bar fight, and then ride off into the sage with head held high and no hint of a hangover.

That lie was what I was looking for as a kid, since I felt ignored, untalented, and insignificant. 

So when I turned fourteen I embraced the lie and began drinking. Since I couldn't love me, I could love the bottle and what it did for me and to me.

I could be a great lover; give others fantastic financial advice; beat up a cadre of bullies; and perform on stage to thunderous applause.

In my mind I could do all that. In reality I could only pee my pants and throw up.

Today, as my body dries out and my spirit grows full, I walk with the Savior, imagining how he will befriend me and counsel me.  He talks but little, saying to me only "There are better things ahead for you."

And the lie wilts and dies a quiet death.


Sunday, October 10, 2021

Haiku: 太陽と雲

 


Sun and clouds combine

Birds and wind tear through the sky --

wet grass holds brown leaves

太陽と雲と風と鳥が野生のコンコードで結合します

The brown wooden fence
stands graceless before the world --
whitewashed by sparrows
無防備な茶色の木製の柵は優雅なスズメによって白塗りされています

The sidewalk goes on
until it reaches the end --
a blind fish still smells
歩道は終わりに達するまで続きますが、盲目の魚はまだ臭いです