Wednesday, February 15, 2023

Prose Poem: Jared Goyette and the Dandruff Machine.


 

 

when people are television 

personalities

strange things happen to them.

 

take the case of Jared Goyette.

a noted celebrity on Fox 9.

he grew up on the wrong side

of the trucks

almost getting run over.

his parents were poor

but avaricious.

they sold their dandruff

to medical schools

to pay for Jared's 

education at Brown

Institute of Broadcasting.

 

once he became a star

Jared bought his parents

a home in Bemidji.

He also bought back

all their dandruff

and had it sprinkled

around their house one

dry winter to simulate

a snow storm.

 

but what i meant to tell

you about was the time

he lost his car keys and

had to walk home.

 

on the way he met a small

man wearing a red belt.

the small man asked him

for money to buy a crumpet.

 

Mr. Goyette gave the little

man with the red belt some

magic beans instead.

but the small man 

turned out to be 

the fox 9 station owner.

and he suspended Goyette

for egregious stinginess.

without pay. for six weeks.

 

if you don't believe my

story you can always

go read a book by

Deepti Kapoor.

 

***********************************

Mr. Goyette's email reply to the above poem:

"Amazingly nothing to do with me but still funny."

 

 

 

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