Normal is the new quirky. I found this out the other day when I bought a new dark blue suit for work and to go to church. The salesperson showed me dozens of ties, each one quirkier than the last, to go with my new suit. I choose a dark blue tie with small white diamonds on it. The salesperson disappeared into the back of the store for a few minutes before returning with my items wrapped in a bizarre oversize leaf of some kind. "We're all doing our part to save the environment" she told me. The leaf smelled like stale bubblegum. "I hope you don't mind" she continued, "but I called the Wall Street Journal to report how normal you are -- it's a thing with them now, trying to find normal people. They pay a finder's fee if they use my tip." "Perfectly alright" I replied, somewhat nettled all the same but not caring to showing it. As I stepped out the door I was waylaid by a young woman who identified herself as Jennifer Levitz, a reporter from the Wall Street Journal. "What is your agenda in buying a dark blue normal suit for work and for church?" she asked me. "I have no agenda" I replied quietly. "This is how I live. Dress modestly and don't call attention to myself." She looked at me shrewdly. "I bet you work in a bank and take a brown bag lunch in every day!" she told me. "Correct" I replied. "Now if you'll excuse me I must stop at the Post Office to buy some stamps."
"Oh my gosh!" she sputtered. "That is SO normal!" It occurred to me that I should answer all her further questions with 'no comment,' but my mother taught me better manners than that. So I answered all her questions politely. Thanked her for her interest in my admittedly quotidian existence. Made sure my lucky rabbit's foot was in my right front trouser pocket. And walked into the horse pond.
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