Coconut Oil and Other Faded Fads

HONG KONG—Coconut oil prices have dropped by more than half over the past year as the commodity, which is high in saturated fat, has fallen out of favor in kitchens and factories.
by Lucy Craymer for the WSJ

The oil of the coconut once held great charm;

twas used in the kitchen without any harm.

Great for fried chicken and curries deluxe,

I think that they even put some in Starbucks.

But now it's diminished; it's bad for your health.

And so great plantations have lost all their wealth.

Triglycerides come and triglycerides go;

the public is fickle about oleo.

Pumpkin seed oil was once top of the hill;

now it no longer gives chefs any thrill.

Soybean oil is suspect on such levels

that people have claimed it is pressed by red devils.

Corn oil, canola, and rapeseed are viewed

as fatty assassins that should be tabooed. 

Peanut oil? Don't even mention that word;

it's only for frying a whole turkey bird.

Now olive oil's good, but its calorie count

comes in at a terrible chubby amount.

Palm oil is killing the rain forest trees.

And sesame oil is attractive to fleas.

Pistachio oil will turn ev'rything green.

Cocklebur oil is not good for your spleen.

Cod liver oil is beyond human pale.

Cottonseed oil makes smoked oysters taste stale.

It's back to the basics if you want to fry

meat and potatoes, or southern fruit pie;

so saute your foodstuff, including Swiss chard,

in pure melted tallow or maybe some lard . . .