The Speech That Wasn't Made

WASHINGTON—President Trump said late Wednesday that he wouldn’t deliver his State of the Union address until the government reopened, following days of high-profile squabbling after House Speaker Nancy Pelosi urged the president last week to delay his speech.
WSJ

Donald Trump has now become a name that will not fade

from history in tribute to the speech he never made.

He had his notes and prompt book and was ready to convey

to Congress and the people his amazing cabaret.

But suddenly Pelosi slammed the door right in his face,

and Trump no longer had his presidential gabbing place.

He thought he might try Central Park, or Disneyland instead;

he even thought it could be done from Lincoln's White House bed.

At last he gave it up as just another left wing ruse

to keep the country uninformed and issues to confuse.

Then speculation grew as to what was in his postponed speech;

would IT have made the Democrats collapse without a screech?

Big Pharma thought he would complain about the price of drugs.

Labor was as certain that he'd call them dirty thugs.

Wall Street knew deep in their bones that Trump would not gainsay

the reckoning to come to them upon the Judgment Day.

Trump refused to say a word about his canceled speech.

And so the innuendos grew as strong as Clorox bleach.

He'd give Green Cards to refugees who paid beneath the table;

he wanted to give Kim Jong-un a beautiful fur sable.

Putin would become an honorary Eagle Scout;

Robert Mueller was demoted to a Brussels sprout;

Ivanka was appointed the Ambassador to Spain;

Mitch McConnell would be granted funds to find a brain.

Global warming was outlawed as terroristic thinking;

polar icecaps were too big and needed modest shrinking.

We'd be invading Canada, as soon as it stopped snowing.

And NATO could just hit the road, their soldiers take up sewing.

The commentary on Trump's speech that never would be given

caused an uproar coast to coast and left the country riven.

In panic whole communities fled to the isle of Fiji,

while billionaires wiped windshields with a tattered filthy squeegee.

The Pentagon decided to go in for renovation,

becoming a large shopping mall and Conoco gas station.

Women marched on Nordstrom stores and caravans of kitties

infiltrated Instagram and set up large committees.

The speech Trump never gave was soon so infamous that he

was taken out of office and sent to a nunnery.

And that is why his name is used to frighten little nippers

and as a cuss word when adults get fingers caught in zippers.