It Starts Out With a Glass of Milk

                    “The cookie business is pretty cutthroat,” he says.

WSJ  @Annie_Gasparro  

It starts out with a glass of milk -- as harmless as can be.

But then the battle joined is filled with grim ferocity.

Because the brand of cookie that is dipped into moo juice 

has fomented some awful brawls without a hint of truce.

Hydrox suing Oreo -- you think that is audacious?

Tis nothing to the other brands of biscuits, quite voracious.

Each wafer seen upon the shelf of any groceria

got there through hard battle and a bit of logorrhea.

America loves cookies; we are stout in their defense.

Even though their calories give dieters offence.

Whether cream or brittle, thin or thick as lurking thieves,

the snacking on an Archway true Nirvana sure achieves.

So Keebler and Nabisco are in deadly dark contention

to make their brand of cookie the one truest sweet ascension.

Chips Ahoy torpedoes any Clif Bar found a-floating;

Fig Newtons stomp on Lorna Doone, and then commence to gloating.

In truth the cookie aisle in stores, and relative position,

is crafted with the cunning of a running politician.

The bottom shelf's Siberia -- no Little Debbie there.

It's where they dump the Snackwells without any further care.

And when the Famous Amos truck arrives upon its route

the Nilla thugs are waiting to hijack it with a shout.

Walker's Shortbread, tartan clad, does battle with the Voortman,

and doesn't scruple to use tactics shunned by any sportsman.


The worst part, from consumer's view, is pricing that's outrageous.
To purchase top brand cookies needs a purse that is courageous.
Pepperidge Farm Milanos must be worth their weight in gold,
and buying Barnum's Animals makes me feel I've been rolled!

Where will it end, where will it end -- these most unseemly rumbles?

Is this the way, the only way, the pleasing cookie crumbles?

Please grant competing cookie brands a bit of cool afflatus --

otherwise the market will default to cheap galletas!