Norway Buys America

During a shutdown, the IRS can continue activities that protect government property, and the agency may bring in more workers soon to prepare for the income-tax filing season. Even during a shutdown, the agency still processes some tax returns that include payments, keeps computer systems running and continues criminal investigations. But the IRS generally doesn’t conduct audits, respond to taxpayer questions outside the filing season or—brace yourself—pay refunds.

by Richard Rubin for the WSJ

Although the thrush was singing, and the melted waters flowed,

the April air was heavy with the taxpayers sad load.

Toiling through the winter, while they waited for relief,

citizens would pay their bills in sullen silent grief.

For in the halls of Congress, and down at the White House too,

the government stayed shut down and no one knew what to do.

The IRS abandoned all attempts at refund work.

Their agents pulled in money, and then sat there with a smirk.

And old folks who required something extra for more meds;

young couples who were waiting to go out and buy new beds;

children who went hungry til the refund check arrived;

all of them now realized that they would stay deprived.

Parks went back to wilderness and grass grew in the streets.

Businesses went under, with no payment of receipts.

Money grew so scarce and tight that panic gripped the hearts

of brokers and their bankers and those blasted Wall Street tarts.

But suddenly the people all spontaneously did say:

"Sell the doggone country off to filthy rich Norway!"

"They've got coin enough to purchase us, there ain't no doubt."

"And they'll give us boiled potatoes with lots of pan-fried trout!"

For you see the Norway lobby had been busy so,

to buy America and make it bow down to Oslo.

Trump did not oppose it, and the Congress was asleep -- 

and so they bought us up just like a herd of silly sheep.

Refund checks were sent to one and all by those sly trolls.
Americans were happy to be on such rich tax roles.
And now we pay our taxes to their Gauleiters supreme;
our vaunted independence just an overburdened dream.