I was recently called on to resign, so I held a press conference.
"I am holding this press conference" I told the assembled journalists "because I have nothing to hide -- and, more importantly, I currently hold no positions from which to resign."
I chose a Ms. Sardiness from the Wire Cutters League for the first question.
"Why are you not interested in meeting your detractors half way?" she asked.
"What detractors? I'm retired and work crossword puzzles to pass the time. How could I have any detractors?" I said indignantly. then I picked Mr. Hemenhaw of the British Railways. He asked "Is it true you were once arrested for public exfoliation?" "That was from a previous poem" I replied promptly. that seemed to satisfy the sixty or so reporters, and they all left. wagging their tails behind them. I paid the landlord for the use of his hall and the caterer for her hard boiled eggs and nuts, and since I was the last one out I also turned off all the lights.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2019/07/20/democratic-presidential-hopefuls-call-puerto-ricos-governor-resign/?utm_term=.9c93e95a2c8d
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