"Reza Baluchi washed ashore on Saturday near St. Augustine, Fla., in a ‘‘hydro pod,” startling beachgoers with a homemade contraption that resembles a hamster wheel."
Edward Morton Stuzzlefield
invented fruit already peeled;
banana bunches he created
that of their skin had been castrated.
But the public did not feel
that his invention had appeal.
In poverty he did remain,
without so much as quiche lorraine.
*
But Edward could not be defeated;
he turned his thoughts to lands depleted.
Organic fertilizer, cheap,
came to him one night in sleep.
To Washington he traveled quick
with burlap sacks both strong and thick
to capture all the rich bs
that came straight from our own Congress.
He spread it on a test field bare
and clover grew like teenage hair.
But once again the public sank
his hopes, because the bs stank --
no farmer wanted Edward's mix;
they said it reeked of politics.
*
Now Stuzzlefield was in a bind;
on all his bills he fell behind.
Another brainstorm came at last,
and this one seemed quite unsurpassed!
In his garage he toiled away,
inventing hard both night and day.
And came up with a giant spoon
to catapult men to the Moon.
Put billionaires in outer space,
thought Ed, and I'll be Upper Case.
It had a giant spring and gear,
and Ed was first to volunteer.
He sprang into the stratosphere --
and ne'er was seen again, I fear.
*
His spirit, though, lives on in those
who want to challenge the cosmos;
those who dream and tinker when
the world is filled with lesser men
content to plod the daily rut
and think our hero was a nut.
To crackpot dreamers everywhere
I bow my head and wish you fair!
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