Baseball pitchers are a breed
who feel pressured to succeed.
They have gotten pretty manic
throwing aero-damn-die-namic.
I'm not sure what all they've tried
to make their pitches curve and glide,
so this is just a partial guide:
Strands of bubble gum so pink
it makes umpires stop and think.
Bookish pitchers have been traced
to the use of library paste.
Mucilage from plants and snail
produce results that do not fail.
And of course a pitch is bent
with a dab of rubber cement.
Pine tar, asphalt, super glue --
in a pinch they all will do.
If a pitcher has chutzpah
he might even use some chaw.
In this techie age banal
could microchips be in the ball?
Or a nano-drone, I fear,
might sit astride the hurtling sphere.
Yes, pitchers are a breed that's wacky --
always searching for the tacky . . .
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