My name is Thomas Mitchell Toombs; I work for Senator Wink.
I travel all the world for free, including food and drink.
Exchange programs for culture are a sinecure, of sorts.
I visit ev’ry tourist spot and stay at fine resorts.
The hosting country pays all costs; I do not spend a dime.
I account to no one what I do with all my time.
In France I sample cheeses and ascend the Eiffel Tower.
In Bangkok there’s a girl masseuse, who always wears a flower.
Lavish South Korea has rolled out the carpet red,
And Beijing ties me to it with many a silken thread.
Argentina feeds me steak, and I mean by the platter.
Chaps in London take me to a Carnaby Street hatter.
When I return I’m tanned and fit, and full of gourmet food,
To inform the Congressman about the foreign mood.
Call it all a junket if you wish, I do not care,
Because it sure beats sitting on a bench at Farragut Square.
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