The holidays are drawing near and yet I never learn
A can of mixed nuts always leaves me with severe heartburn.
It’s not because Brazil nuts are a toxin to my gut;
Nor is it on cashews that I so unwisely glut.
The label says that less than half are peanuts, yet I find
That goobers will predominate before the can is mined.
I’ve nothing against peanuts, but when products guarantee
I won’t be finding many I believe them thoroughly.
So when I grab a handful of mixed nuts to celebrate
The richness of the season, it begins to really grate
That all I get are peanuts -- not an almond is in sight.
Planters, you have tricked me once again -- and that ain’t right!
"It's so true. Peanuts predominate. Thank you for channeling my grievance."
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