Timericks from headlines in today's Wall Street Journal.

I’m a Parent. And a Bad Teacher. All I Do Is Panic About School.

Will children back to school be going/This I need now to be knowing/If they stay home with their pop/sanity is sure to stop/Sure I love 'em; there's no doubt/but soon I'll start to scream and shout/if underfoot they have to stay/past this coming Labor Day/If I must face more throbbing percuss/I'll run away and join the circus!


How Europe Kept Coronavirus Cases Low Even After Reopening.

They do it wearing masks, is all/in churches, schools, and loud beer hall/They have more sense than all us Yanks/who think that masks are liberal pranks/If Uncle Sam don't smarten up/we'll wither like the buttercup.

A WSJ reader named A Torr responded to the above poem thusly:
Europeans don't go to church and beer halls.   And the pubs in the UK, Ireland, Sweden,etc are filled with people standing side by side.

The reality is that Europeans have realized that with a mortality rate of .02 - .04 percent ( that's .0002 - .0004) and declining death rates ( as in the US), this is no longer an issue to get overly excited about.  The elderly ( 80+) represent over 85 percent of the deaths ( as in the US) and can be isolated with precautions taken in nursing homes ( unlike that which was done in New York which together with NJ, Connecticut and Michigan represent over 50 percent of the 'deaths' related to Covid).

Simply put - this is and always has been a politically driven 'crisis' ( as were/are the 'protests' ). Time to move on.



Winning Streak of Big Cities Fades With 2020 Crises.

The bigger the city the more I abhor/its smells and its people and unending roar/I'm not some old sardine, packed next to some creep/who doesn't know how social distance to keep/Give me a small town where neighbors are nice/and gossip's a sport, not a terrible vice/Where boredom's an artform and I can relax/and wear at the neck my polyestery slacks.

Disney executives are scrambling to address what is looking to be a prolonged crisis on many fronts, forcing a realignment of priorities that could have lasting impacts.

Disney needs a bag of tricks/if they can't make brand new flicks/With their theme parks now ghost towns/they are making sobbing sounds/What will save their bacon is/merchandizing at a fizz/Push those dolls and hats and clocks/Mickey shirts and Goofy socks/Nike did it; you can, too/Give the country Disney flu!


Republicans Put Schools, Jobs at Top of Coronavirus Priorities.

I'll tell you my priorities, although nobody asked/I'd like to see a cartoon show that's based on Thomas Nast/I also want a toilet bowl that reads my horoscope/and how about a rindless inexpensive cantaloupe/There's some might call me foolish for my impractical desires/but they sure beat the stuff from our Congressional blowdryers . . . 

The Portland Protests, Trump Administration and Federal Authority.

The bogeyman will get you, and he comes straight from DC/He'll drag you off and lock you up with total secrecy/He never says a word but simply grabs the nearest chump/and throws 'em in an unmarked van on orders from old Trump/So never go out when it's dark or march in a procession/otherwise you'll disappear for make believe transgression.