If you want a war to end fast,
don't hassle with bomb or with blast;
just make a big threat
to remove internet --
they'll give up in regiments massed.
Strategists at Barclays PLC estimate the market will drop 11% to 13% if Mr. Trump wins and rise 2% to 3% if Mrs. Clinton wins based on how stock futures have responded to shifts in polls. WSJ
The stock market ain't a good place
to bet on in this crazy race.
No matter who wins
it's all Mickey Finns --
investors will lose more than face!
Throughout the tumultuous and unpredictable 2016 presidential campaign, one thing has been constant: Voters have been seething with frustration over the state of American politics. WSJ
Voters are certainly seething;
almost as if they were teething.
Their mood is so black
that they just might attack,
their sabers and switchblades unsheathing.
RENO, Nev.—No weapon was found after Donald Trump was rushed off a stage at a Nevada rally Saturday night, the Secret Service said. WSJ
He shot off his mouth once again,
but all the security men
no gun play could find --
yet still they did bind
somebody for Donald's bullpen.
“No matter who is president. No matter who controls Congress, the United States is always going to be interested and need security and stability in Europe,” Gen. Hodges said. WSJ
That Europe is old and decayed
and ready to sink and to fade
is obvious to
the Red, White, and Blue --
our welcome we've sure overstayed.
JAKARTA, Indonesia—President Joko Widodo postponed a state visit to Australia, citing unrest at home, after a massive protest called by hard-line Muslims against the capital’s Christian governor drew 200,000 demonstrators and stoked worries about deepening religious tensions in a nation long known for its moderate brand of Islam. WSJ
Joko Widodo postponed his long trip;
his public was restless and he'd lost his grip.
But when he stayed home and he tried to explain,
his public just looted the Christians again.
So Joko Widodo joined in with the group,
for fear that his ratings would otherwise droop.
He's no Erdogan, who can beat trouble down
and cow the fanatics with one single frown.
Volkswagen said on Sunday that prosecutors in Braunschweig have named Hans Dieter Pötsch in their investigation. Mr. Pötsch was Volkswagen’s long-serving chief finance officer until September 2015, when he was named chairman in a management shake-up in the wake of the diesel scandal. WSJ
There once was a fellow named Potsch
who got in a terrible botch
for which prosecutors
named him with the looters --
he won't get a gold-plated watch.
MIAMI — Five undocumented domestic workers, all named Maria, fanned out across Little Havana delivering a desperate, last-minute plea to Hispanic voters: We can’t vote, but you can. Vote early to ensure a President Trump does not deport us. WaPo
Hispanics are not playing Bingo
when it comes to this crazy gringo.
His triumph would mean
that robots would clean
our houses (and speak our own lingo).
The FDA is seeking public comment. You have until Jan. 3 to tell the agency whether you consider a normal serving of Nutella to be one tablespoon or two. WaPo
I don't want your census to mar,
but I always eat half a jar.
No use in restricting;
that stuff is addicting --
that's why I look like a boxcar.
As Danlin pursues the story behind his ex-wife’s tawdry novel, he gets caught in the confluence of American capitalism and Chinese influence. In the United States, free speech may not be limited the way it is in China, but there are limits nonetheless. “I wonder,” he muses at one point, “if I might turn out to be the only loser in this scandal. Sometimes the whistleblower blows so hard he busts his own bladder.” WaPo
Exposing a scandal can lead
to more trouble than a nosebleed.
It's messier, too,
cuz out of the blue
you're kicked by the media steed.
No doubt, dozens of campaign 2016 book deals are being inked right now, with political journalists and campaign insiders promising to deliver the inside story of this extraordinary presidential race. I hope they do deliver it, and I will read as many of those books as I can stand. WaPo
Explaining this campaign would be
the height of surfeit and folly.
Not even Einstein
could ever refine
the sense of its hyperbole.
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