Thursday, August 10, 2017

HEADLINES & VERSE. Thursday. August 10. 2017

A PRESIDENTIAL PROMISE IS AS FIRM AS A FLORIDA SINKHOLE  

Resist the hypnotic appeal
When Presidents promise a deal.
Their words have the weight
Of thin paper plate --

And wriggle around like an eel.


HEAVY RAINS PROVE NEW ORLEANS IS JUST A LAKE WAITING TO HAPPEN

When hit by a cloudburst of rain,
New Orleans goes right down the drain.
With pumps that don’t suck,
They’re plumb out of luck.
A nice place to live -- for a crane.


UBIQUITOUS DONUT FRANCHISE TO MAKE SPECIAL DONUT FOR UPCOMING SOLAR ECLIPSE. THIS ISN'T REALLY NEWS, BUT WE'RE HOPING THEY'LL READ THIS AND SEND US A COUPLE DOZEN FREE SAMPLES.

The world can watch eclipses till astronomers all scream;
Me, I’ll settle down to watch, and eat, a Krispy Kreme.

Other donuts, with their sprinkles and their foofaraw,
Cannot match the flavor or my salivating awe.

And if the world should end when next we have a big eclipse,
I’ll be a smiling corpse with Krispy Kreme upon my lips.

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