Lemme tell you something, son;
there is nothing like a gun.
Hefted in a manly hand
it will make you feel quite grand.
Did you know the Feds curtail
guns and ammo when for sale?
Used to be you'd pay in cash
and got your gun as quick as hash.
But now, alas, that ain't the case;
the red tape is a huge disgrace.
Try buying a Kalashnikov;
you will be told to bugger off!
And when you want to buy a Glock
they'll tell you they are out of stock.
No dum dum bullets or hand grenades --
How can a guy go on crusades?
Now down in Mexico, my lad,
things are not yet quite so bad.
If you have enough dinero
you can be a bandolero.
Guns and apple pie, amigo;
that's the true blue Yankee ego.
So start with BB guns, my boy,
to join the brutal hoi polloi!
******************
I ordered a new oven but it's still in port they say/I need it for the pumpkin pie on this Thanksgiving day/I guess I'll light a fire in the basement on cement/and roast the turkey over embers with no decent vent/And if my cooking is all charred and turns out to be smelly/I guess I'll order something from The Brothers Kosher Deli.
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