Friday, November 20, 2020

Today's timericks.

 



I'm using all the brains I have to get by nowadays/I doubt if it is ten percent -- I'm always in a haze/The rest of my grey matter's on a permanent vacation/It's incommunicado at some tropical location.


Pastors want their churches open, it is plain to me/so they keep on working and collecting a fat fee/Idle clergy do not get much manna from the Lord/and empty pews give clergy but a trivial reward.


The elephant has sad old eyes/and so it comes as no surprise/when eccentrics guarantee/the animal's humanity/But if I were a pachyderm/that would really make me squirm/Since humans are so very cruel/and rarely live the Golden Rule.


Free radicals are after me/so full of rank duplicity/in my bloodstream they do lurk/doing hemic dirty work/hurry, mountebanks, to me/with your nostrums gluten free!


I love scallions, yes I do/but if I should breathe on you/your reaction is to make/faces at me like a hake/so I'll switch to garlic corm/as my staple snacking norm. 


Inside the house I wear my shoes/because bare feet are bugaboos/they pick up lint and turn all black/and I might step upon a tack/If I could float like Voldemort/I'd take 'em off like a good sport.

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