An Iowa official and Tupac stan was fired. He says it wasn’t because of the ‘thug life’ cookies. (WaPo)

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I read the headline in the newspaper three times, and still didn't understand it.  I called the editor of the paper and asked him what the heck was the meaning of that particular headline; it seemed like gibberish to me.
he answered very smoothly:  "that is our new streamlined approach to the news -- an algorithm picks out the words at random and we print them as such.  our subscribers find it very engaging."
"it ain't engaging to me" I told him and hung up.  then I poured myself a glass of buttermilk and read a paperback out in the backyard while dozens of Russian milkweed pods broadcast their divisive seeds across my lawn.  a boy in a grey t-shirt and grey shorts, wearing black dress shoes, walked respectfully up to me and waited.
"want some buttermilk?" I asked him.  "no thank you" he replied politely.  "I am here at the instigation of the editor to bring you in."
"instigation?" I said.  "that's a pretty big word for a mighty small boy."  at that, he smiled.  we became great friends for the afternoon, tossing a frisbee back and forth.  but he still brought me in that evening, and now I may never escape this hellish job of stuffing Sunday supplements by hand each week.