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in my hometown someone kidnapped a large plastic statue of Ronald McDonald. it stood in the parking lot and was a great attraction for tourists coming through on their way to the lakes and mountains -- they'd stop to take a family photo in front of it, smiling and dreaming of fat trout and mountain ash groves full of healing pine siskins.
but then the statue was stolen one spring night, just as the tourist season began. unscrewed from its base and carried away. McDonald's offered a five hundred dollar reward for its return, no questions asked. the newspaper said it was undoubtedly a prank by some community college students. the chief of police hinted darkly that eco-terrorists were behind the whole thing.
but I thought I knew who did it. my friend Crazy Henry. he was always up to something foolish. so I asked him "did you steal that Ronald McDonald statue?" "Maybe" he replied, then got in his chariot pulled by two goats and fled to Montana. he hasn't come back yet, and he owes me 27 dollars.
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