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the letter said I was in arrears down at the bowling ball store. it said I better pay up or they'd take away my bowling shoes and put a sign on my door reading "Deadbeat Bowler."
I wasn't that much behind in payments. I mean, come on, everybody has to have a bowling ball these days just to survive, and I couldn't afford to pay full price, so I was on an installment plan. so much per month. but now I was 3 months behind and they were going to do this to me? I called the Better Business Bureau to complain, but they didn't answer their phone -- the voicemail said they were all out bowling. then I called the Justice League of America -- but they were in bed with bowler's elbow. as a last resort I went downtown to the mayor's office, but she was out unveiling a memorial to the Unknown Bowler.
now desperate I went to Walmart and bought a croquet set. my way of protesting this grave injustice. I played eight straight games on my front lawn before the school board condemned my property as a public nuisance and I had to move back in with my third grade teacher.
she lets me feed her gerbil.
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