the first plague was raspberries. they fell from the sky by the millions, covering the earth with a rich red fruity mush that made it impossible for cars to travel on roads or planes to take off from the tarmac. weather forecasters said it was caused by global warming, so they were all summarily executed and their bodies left out to rot along with the raspberries.
the next plague was plastic bags. the wind blew them in from desert places, where they had been secretly gathering for years. they enveloped the crops and orchards, smothering the food supply until starvation became inevitable. hysterical crowds stormed every plastic bag factory in the world, destroying the machinery and lynching anyone caught in a white shirt or blouse.
the final plague was grasshoppers with body odor. they invaded the cities, driving people mad with their sweaty gym socks smell. those few who survived this onslaught went to Las Vegas for a vacation, where they lost all their ready money at the blackjack tables.
No comments:
Post a Comment