I was in my backyard, minding my own business, when this spaceship comes floating down onto the lawn and an alien steps out of it. nothing scary; just a humanoid with green rippling skin and a snout for a nose. before I could do anything the alien threw down a brown package, got back in its spaceship, and left as quietly and quickly as it had come. I poked the package with a stick, and since it didn't explode or anything I opened it up -- it was full of baked potatoes and grilled steak and chocolate layer cake, and a pot of California blend steamed vegetables. boy, did I eat good that day!
the next day I was in my backyard again, kinda hoping the alien would bring something good again. and it did! this time it was a Sicilian pizza with anchovies and a cobb salad. I tried to thank the alien but it sped off in its spaceship before I could say anything.
after that I was out in the yard every day, and every day that spaceship landed and the alien dropped off a delicious package. as the years went by I married and we had seven children, and I kept them well fed with those wonderful packages from the space alien.
then one day it didn't come. there was no food. we had to eat crackers and cheese. I never saw that spaceship or that alien again, and several of my children starved to death before I could remember how to go to work to earn money to buy food.
That's why I'll never trust a space alien again -- they're murderers!
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