Don’t Scoff at TikTok Influencers. They’re Taking Over the World. (NYT)

(dedicated to @kevinroose)


I, too, have plans for taking over the world.  it starts with training an army of goldfinches to do my bidding by feeding them premium black thistle seed.  once they are dependent on me I will send them winging around the countryside, each one with a little placard around its neck reading "WHO IS EUGENE FIELD?"
this, in turn, will create such an uproar that when I step into the stoplight (dyslexics unite!) I will immediately gain millions of followers who will march on beer halls in Milwaukee while selling my personal brand of sneakers, Toe Benders.
once I am a power to be reckoned with I plan to gather all major influencers on a mountain top in South America, where I can have them photobombed and disposed of -- while I take over their endorsement deals.
from my new power base it is only a matter of time before I rule the attention economy like Franco ruled Spain.  and from there, who knows? I might reintroduce rosemaling . . .