From 2011 to 2018, prosecutors say, parents paid a total of $25 million to William Singer, a college-admissions consultant, to bribe coaches and administrators to designate their children as top recruits in such sports as football, water polo, soccer, track and volleyball at universities including the University of Southern California, Georgetown and Wake Forest. Some parents also allegedly paid Mr. Singer as much as $75,000 for test-cheating services.
WSJ
Welcome to America, the home of bribery.
Where ev'rything is 'fixed' at school, including spelling bee.
From Delaware to Tennessee gratuities provide
a helping hand for students who have let their studies slide.
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Since admission to the Ivy League is predicated on
greasing palms to perpetrate a sly collegiate con,
we ought to let payola just run riot through the land
(you think that TIME would print this poem if I gave them ten grand?)
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And what's to stop us bribing Kim Jong-un and other jerks
to make them stop ignoble and nefarious fireworks?
How much cold mazuma would Trump need to take the bait
and pack up his belongings and the White House to vacate?
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And maybe God in heaven is amenable to graft
and would accept a generous Well Fargo banking draft.
So let the meek inherit what is left of mother earth;
the rest of us will bribe our way to some celestial berth.
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