Me, spend lots of money just to kick start world affairs?/Merchants, do not hold your breath I'll make such fool repairs/I'm closer now than ever with each mother-loving cent/I'm so cheap I brew my beer by letting bread ferment!
If there's one thing that is fixed/it's Girl Scout cookies can't be nixed/Whether thin mints or trefoils/I love those goodies from the goils/COVID-19 never halts/the way shortbread my life exalts!
I'm an old coot, yessiree!/I cannot hear; I cannot see/I'm cranky, thinking I'm the boss/and I subsist on applesauce/So websites, do not mess around/make 'em easy, not profound/Otherwise I will revert/to reading chiseled words on chert.
I know that paywalls help the trade/but no wall yet was ever made/that boys like me could long ignore/so we will climb them evermore/The thrill and sense of minor fraud/gives a lift to this tightwad!
You gotta raise mazuma when you're running for a seat/and it ain't just that your opponent you must always beat/Your staff is large and you must travel many many miles/and get some plastic surgery to guarantee those smiles/And sticky fingers siphon off a goodly share, no doubt/But then, in politics, you never DO find a Boy Scout.
Saving sentient beings is the purpose of the news/with truth and justice rising high above all shabby ruse/The Epoch Times newspaper does exemplify that fact/with stories that are phony as a Tiffany that's cracked/You'd think their circulation would be plummeting, but then/it's hogwash that sells copies say all good newspaper men.
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